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Saturday, January 21, 2012

Club Chemo: Vacation #3

I've been dreading #3.  Dreading it.  So much so that I was awake at 1:30am and that was after taking 2 Ambien.  I really think that the medical profession frowns on that sort of thing.

Why have I been dreading it?  Because I've learned, by self-discovery which was then confirmed by my Chemo CheerLeader (Nurse Practioner), that the side effects get worse because it's cumulative.  So round 2 was worse than round 1 and now round 3 was going to be worse than round 2.  I much prefer to float in the clouds of not knowing.  Whatchya don't know, won't hurt you!  A great saying...especially regarding this sort of thing.

Okay, so I get to my appointment with one minute to spare (I've mentioned how I have a hard time getting to my appointments seeing as how it's only a half mile from my front door).  My appointment is with Mr. Big.  THE oncologist.  I've only met him twice, both for long consults.  It's like he's just so dang smart and I get the feeling that he's trying to dumb it up for me...which I TOTALLY appreciate.  So sitting in his presence is a bit intimidating.  He was really happy with my progress and I felt like I walked away with an A+ on my medical file.  Ah, and I've lost 4 pounds since three weeks ago, so I'm pretty sure that I get extra credit points for that.

On my way over to the Club.  I'm a regular now.  Pretty much what I would guess owning a TimeShare is like.  You see the same faces, but you're there to do your own thing and don't really want to party it up with them, but need to be cordial since you'll see them again.  I see Sandra and say, "Welcome back from vacation!  I missed you!"...Nicole is at her computer and she looks up and says, "Hi Kim!  Love your scarf!"...New Nurse smiles...New Guy doesn't even acknowledge me (note to self...new guy is weird)...and then I see my chair.  MY chair is free and waiting for me.  Just as I go to claim it, Nicole says "oh, before you start, they need to see you back at the front desk".  My face fell.  "But my chair!" (and I point at it)  She tells me that I can set my stuff down first.  Saving my seat is important stuff :)  So I plunk down my things and draw a pretend chalk line around it to claim it as my own and then make my way back to the desk.  Apparently, the new year has arrived and my paid deductible for the year is zilch.  So Club Chemo/Time Share is a pretty pricey joint and I'm ever so thankful that the State of CA put money in my bank today.  

I rush back to my chair and discover that more people have come in.  HA!  MY chair was saved.  I see Roy/Ray and he waves.  IckyDirtyMan is there.  I see a lady that is on her last round.  I want to give her a high five, but then I think...germs.  How about a fist pump?  No, possible bruising.  This chemo crap makes it really hard to celebrate.  So I opt for the "thumbs up".  No harm done.


New Nurse is Gina.  She is friendly enough and I splatter off what I want and how I want it.  She says, "oookaaayyy" in that, "whateveh" sort of tone.  I'm just happy that I didn't get Weird New Guy setting me up.  He surely wouldn't have been as accommodating and then I would have had to get all ChemoCrazy on him.  Everything goes in well and good with no pain in my port.  "SEEEE!!!",  I say with glee.  Gina smiles and walks away, leaving me hooked up with my drip.  Nicole walks over to me with fresh batteries for my headphones (that made me giggle) and popped them in for me.  I was set.  I had my water, my snacks, and my crochet project all spread out.  

Now I had to pee.  Damn coffee.

I take all the stuff off of my lap, unplug my coat rack (which I'm happy to report no longer had the Christmas ornament on it) and headed towards the bathroom.  Sandra looks up from the desk and says, "You just got here!".  I respond, "I'm doing the coffee shuffle".  She started to laugh and was saying something in return, but I didn't have the time to listen.  Potty, potty, potty.  I come back and she continues on with the conversation as if I never left the room.  "Ha-ha-ha"...another thumbs up from me and it appears that I gave a good enough response to her funny quip.  For all I know, she could have told me that I had my pants on backwards.  

I check my pants.  I'm good.

I go through the plug in process, get all situated and then decide that I really should try for sleep since I only had 3 hours last night.  I close my eyes.  I'm listening to The View and then I think I've bumped the volume.  But noooo...there is a little party going on right next to me.  The lady seated next to me has four guests and they are loud.  Good grief. 

Ignore it.  Just ignore it.  Listen to Elizabeth on The View.  Crap, she is more irritating than The Tailgaters seated next to me.  

Eyes open, chair upright, crochet in hand.

Queasy comes quickly with this round, so I start in on my saltines.  After about 4, I notice that I'm covered in crumbs.  That's hot.  So I dust them off and make a better effort at containing my mess as I crunch the crackers into oblivion.  Once the Benedryl bag gets pumped into me, the groggies hit and I close my eyes.

Now I had to pee.  Damn coffee.

Sandra is with another patient, so I am free from having to worry about her referencing something that she said earlier.  Whew, dodged that bullet!  Do the potty thing and re-hook up.  Now I shall close my eyes.

And sleep comes.  I sleep sound through the first bag of chemo and am so disappointed that I still have a second one to go when my eyes open.  

There is no more sleep to be had here, I'm queasy and my batteries have run out.  So I do more crocheting and I start listening in on conversations.  The lady in the corner with the red, white and blue blanket is simply White Trash.  Her friend isn't as bad, but I feel more confident about my character call on White Trash as I listen to what she has to say.  Her friend leaves to buy cigarettes (really?) and White Trash eats out of her fast food bag while playing Electronic Slot Machine with the volume on.  We all get to hear her hit the pretend jackpot.  Thumbs up.  Her husband/boyfriend calls (ringer on full volume) and she says to him, "I don't get my money until tomorrow and I can't be buyin' you beer every day!"  It's amazing how cancer touches so many different sorts of people.  IckyDirtyMan is done and leaves.  Roy/Ray hasn't stopped talking to people since he arrived.  The Tailgaters have left and The Lady is left alone with her daughter.  She is quite old and frail.  This is her first treatment and my heart goes out to her.  She said to me, "My friend died last year and I've got to tell you that I was kind of glad to see her pass.  She was only still my friend due to years of being connected.  Well, then I got this cancer thing and my first thought was, "good God, now I've got to go be with her again!"".  That made me laugh.  Her daughter looked mortified and that made me laugh more.  Weird New Guy goes home and the nurses start talking about him...they don't like him either!  Then Gina goes over to where IckyDirtyMan was sitting to change his pillow cover and says, "Holy cow!  All these crumbs, it looks like a mouse has been eating over here!"  

I quickly dust my saltine crumbs off of my chair.  Did anyone see that?

It's finally over...the last bag beeps that it is empty.  I'm disconnected by Sandra and I pack up my things, do a final crumb check and I'm outta there.

Club Chemo visit #3 is history.  One more to go!

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