A great line!

Hemp!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Footloose and Cancerfree

I heard that I was cancer free on May 3, 2012.

Here it is, May 21st and I’m just now posting about this.  You’d think that after hearing this MONUMENTAL news, I’d have a million words to type and share.  The emotion should be flowing from my finger tips…and yet…I’ve got nothing.

Sure, I’m happy.  Thrilled.  Elated beyond belief that this beast is gone from my body.  But the thing is this; I didn't really need to hear it from the radiologist.  I knew in my heart and in my soul that it was cancer free when I had the surgery to remove the mass on October 4th.  I just knew.  All of the crappy chemo and radiation that I had to endure was done just for insurance.  Insurance that it wouldn’t come back and insurance that the Universe knew that I saw this whole thing as very serious.  Maybe that’s why I had so many words to share during that time.  I mean, it all seemed so silly to me, so I had that sort of silly perspective that just filled my head with words.

Some funny things that have happened since I got the “all clear”:

A receptionist that was about 25 says to me, “I love your hair style.  I wanted to get mine cut that short, but never had the nerve.”  I say, “I went through cancer treatment to get this sassy ‘do.  It’s a style that I got by default.”  She looks at me with only the eyes that a twenty-something could have and says, “That’s amazing.  Thank you.”  I didn’t just return from Iraq…I had cancer, so really, why is she thanking me?  Then she jumps in with, “I was also thinking that if I got my hair cut like that, it would be a tribute to all the cancer survivors out there.”  A blank stare from me.  I leaned on the counter, looked her in the eyes and said, “Cancer survivors want you to keep your hair.  Please don’t cut your hair for us.”

A big packet came in the mail to me.  Inside, I found a breast cancer medical survey.  I thought to myself, “You gotta be kidding me.  Am I on a mailing list now???”  After reading the cover letter, I discovered that I’d get a $30 check for completing the research study.  So, I filled it out.  Apparently, I can be bought.

Outside of the funny stuff, I’m now trying to figure out how to live life without daily appointments and an overabundance of medications.  I’m finding that I’m looking deeper into things like food & diet, relationships, why anyone would like the taste of a Brazil nut, and what makes me happy.  I’m taking Tamoxifen with some subtle side effects…HOT FLASH.  My hair is growing into a crazy curly wreck.  I had to shave my legs for the first time since December.  And I still love chocolate.  Amen.

5 comments:

Barbara said...

Brazil nuts. Hahaha! Love this entire post but for some reason that line made me laugh the loudest.

Love you Bestie.

Kim said...

Ah, and I you.

Am I right about the Brazil nut thing, or what? I wrote more today.

xoxo

Barbara said...

Spot on with the brazil nuts. Godawful things. One of those things on this planet you just gotta ask "why???" Like ants. Why???

Catherine said...

Still love chocolate - whew! :) As for these brazil nuts, you are really perking my curiosity. I may have to try one (but only one!) just to appreciate how bad they really are. Or not - maybe I will just flat out shun the nut.

Congratulations on the great news from your doc. :) That's fantastic.

Kim said...

Hi Catherine! Nice to meet you here in CancerBlog Land.

Another reason not to like Brazil Nuts...I just heard on the news that they are radioactive! Stupid glowing nuts...